End-of-year Crunch

Is your bowl shiny? Nadine's new water bowl (Hanukkah present) reminds me that there are many less-than-shiny details to sort out before the end of the calendar year. And lest I forget, my accountant is there to berate me into action. He's a cruel man, that Baruch, but perhaps that's why I picked him when shopping for an account six years ago. I want a Rottweiler, not a Golden Retriever, standing as an unflinching barrier between me and Mas Hachnasah (the tax goons).

Of course, with our tax rate down from a one-time high of 18% to a more manageable 15.5%, things should be rosy, but the year end flurry of adjustments, deposits, and financial statements is always depressing. I return from Baruch’s office feeling deflated and, well… poor. If only I could find a way to write off Nadine’s tuna and chocolate pudding habit…

Open wide: I get through my six-month cleaning without succumbing to the urge to bite the dental hygienist. It is a struggle at times. When she is done, she turns me over to Dr. Yuval, aka the Dentist With More Hi-Tech Gadgets Than James Bond. He makes happy gasping noises as he examines my chompers. “Ne’hedar!” he exclaims (wonderful). He calls in his assistant to join him. Now both of them are peering into my mouth and admiring the results of fluoridated water, American dental care, and good genes. It’s nice to be appreciated, but the sad truth is that my teeth are the only part of me that actually meet design specs. The rest of me is sagging, fading, weakening, aching, or leaking.

It's raining Qassams: Nothing has changed. Qassam rockets are still falling on S'derot and every time we attempt to take out the launchers, we get blasted by the international press. So perhaps Olmert is right in trying to ride it out, but life is hard and unfair for the residents of S'derot.